E v e r y t h i n g I'll ever need.

Have you ever had one of those 'duhh' moments? One where you should have just known something, but you didn't? Well, for whatever reason, I had had one of those moments when it came to my relationship with God. However, what I should have realized didn't exactly take me a moment to realize, it took me months. M - o - n - t - h - s. Not to say that my spiritual growth was completely hindered, seeing as I've witnessed some of the most amazing acts of God, heard from God, and even searched more from God in my life during that oblivious time, but I had been waiting on a bit more... and He had been calling me to so much more. I could have so much more than what I was settling for. So. Much. More.

It wasn't really anything that would come as a surprise to many, but it is something I can honestly say I had totally missed. God was literally saying,

"Let me be your everything. Let me take care of you and provide for you the way I know how to."

He said this in a few ways, but the biggest way of all was at a conference I went to called Winterblast. It took me going to the top of a mountain and coming back down feeling completely broken and, not to mention, empty to realize it, but it was so worth it. I believe that weekend was God-ordained, and that He Himself destined for me to be where I was, when I was, but not for the same reasons we would all like to believe. I mean, how else was the man supposed to get my attention if not up on a mountain with almost NO technology, no schoolwork, and nowhere to hide from His beautiful creation? Well, I went, and I listened for God. And I listened for God. And I listened. And I listened. I listened, yet, as much as I wanted to hear from Him, I felt like He just wasn't saying anything. At least, not in the places I'd expected to find Him, like in a preaching or a testimony or a prophesy or a worship session. All these things had simply been preparing me to receive and truly believe what God was getting ready to say to me. It didn't come from where I expected it to, but it came. It came from a simple conversation I had, with the gorgeous, snow-capped mountains in the background. God was telling me to tell Him e v e r y t h i n g.

For the past few months now, God had been calling me to get alone with Him. To tell HIM everything, and, frankly, to let Him be my everything. I kept telling Him He was everything to me, my first & my last, my all-in-all, ect, yet acting in a completely different manner. Like, what??? When I think about it, I want to get really angry with myself, but I'm just so glad I understand it now. At least, almost.

Now, enough introductory stuff, (if you're still with me up until this point, you deserve something good, haha,=)

This is what I feel, specifically, had been built up and finally spoken into my life:

1) Look only to God (alone),

2) Take it to God (problems),

3) Leave it with God (trust Him, He is worthy),

....Then do it all again.

I want to have a strong prayer life because, I'm not gonna lie, I haven't been so diligent in seeking His face this way, yet, He still decides to speak to me. Without any REAL alone time with God and settling for short, 3 minute prayers, I've been like a capable Christian who has spiritual growth, but with a spiritual cold, simply not living up to my full potential.

The only way I would have understood all this, is to have gotten alone with Him. The one who calls me His favorite. The one who thinks I'm to die for. The one who actually did die in order to not have to live without me. The one who...who... the one who simply is. The Great I Am, that is.

I think I need to get even more alone.

Because I won't be so alone.

He should be my everything

He deserves to be my everything,

and He's the best everything I'll ever have. Ever.

I need Him to be my everything.

This is a really long topic that I'd like to go in depth about what I've learned about looking only to God, taking it to God, and leaving it with God, so I'm just going to add them all as different posts. And I believe they may all reach you at different times, or I may add or subtract from them all at different times. Either way, I don't know how much of this ya'll can handle in one post, and I don't know if I've completely learned them all well to fully expand on each topic, but the different aspects are all coming up...

Well, if you're even out there, thanks for zee listen, and yes, I did say listen, and I pray that God would reach you where you are.

Good tidings to all...

Whatever that means.

Hey, it's Christmas time, gimme a break! :)

Well, Night!