From the dawn of history, You make right and You redeem.

There's a lot that can be said when describing God. He's holy, all-powerful, all-knowing, loving, eternal, caring, and the list goes on. I heard it once said that God is like your best friend, but take all the  qualities found in each of your friends and magnify it by a bunch, and that's God. Except, only the good qualities. Like, you know that one friend that always has a tendency to overlook it when people do harm to them? Or your friend that is ALWAYS there when you need someone to talk to? Or, I like this one, what about that person that makes you laugh when you have absolutely no intention of doing so? That's God, but more than ten times more.
We don't always understand it, nor do we have to, because it doesn't change who God is. C.S Lewis said that "a man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." I'm finding this to be so true. Take J-Lo, for instance (I think that's how you write her nickname). She's rich, right? I mean, she must have a big house and some odd number of cars or something like that. And, glory, by definition, can be "a state of prosperity." This is only one definition though. If you don't think she's a good singer or a talented actress or a good Judge on American Idol, does this make her any less rich? NO. It just means that you don't like her, but you can't take her "glory" away by doing so. You just can't.
It's the same way with God, only we can't even begin to understand His description, so we can't imagine HIS glory, or even what people worship Him for.I think that's something God's reassuring me of, the fact that I can't change Him; He is who He is, and He just is. He's just God because He's God, and He's just good because He's good. I don't have to understand it, that's just the way it is. It's like, you have that one friend that you can never reason with them about why they do certain things, but they do it just because they're them. You know? Your one friend that carries hot sauce around in their pocket, or the one that always comes to class late. You can't give a reasonable explanation for either, but you just attribute it to the fact that that's who they are, it's their character.
I think God's been telling me a lot lately to just take things for what they are: they just are. Not the bad things, but just His things. Where I'm at in my life, I feel like I need an explanation for everything. Whether it's because I've had to explain myself a lot or have been doubted, I'm not sure, but I know I've been asking God to do the explaining for me. In Jeremiah 1:5, God tells Jeremiah,
       "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
And, that's the same for you, Emnet, God's been saying. And, just because I fail to recognize it, doesn't mean God is ever going to stop carrying out His plan for my life. Just because I ask "why?" and find a lot of things to be beyond pointless ( I seriously do, it's a problem. I can't do something now for no reason, I have to know why I'm doing it-- kind of like the Greeks in art history), that doesn't mean they really are. It's a beautiful thing because, God, knowing me before I was born or even in my mother's womb (SUCH a weird thought), has already mapped out my life for His glory, just like He did for Jeremiah.
Just because I don't see it sometimes, it doesn't mean that I can diminish His glory. No. When you're destined to have something, you are bound to have it happen. When you get in a car and push the accelerator, you're bound to move.
That's the same with my life. When God gets in that car, and you let Him drive, He makes it so that, even if life gets you all crazy sometimes and you're scribbling 'nevermind! Give me back the keys!' on the car window, you can't put out the Son. Sometimes I am that lunatic trying to write 'darkness' all over my life's cell to put out the sun like C.S Lewis said, but I can't diminish God's glory anyhow. Thank God, too. I'm glad that this teenage girl, barely reaching an acceptable height for society, can do no harm to alter God's plan. I've had this conversation with a lot of different people, and I think I'm beginning to find that no, I cannot step out of God's will for my life... I think...It's still a LONG debated question I have, but, the point is, there's a song by Addison Road, and at one part she says "from the dawn of history, You make right and You redeem." And, that's right. That's just what God does. It's part of His rep. His STORY. History shows over and over again that, for the people He calls His, God maps out each success and victory to someday build to His glory, and their losses too. He's just GOD and He just CAN. He's that... smart. It never fails to amaze me how my details can lead to something so much bigger. He's creative, He saw us way before whenever, and He knew what He was doing, even when He saw that you didn't.

Scribble away, friends, there's nothing you can do.

"Even when we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."

So many times this verse has brought me comfort. Just because I've been doubting (aka, losing faith in) so much of His plan for me, that doesn't change who He is--- FAITHFUL.