"Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans for the future."
It's funny because I bet I made God laugh hard this past year when I made all my plans to get an incredible academic career (incredibly long, that is) and move forward with that while almost completely avoiding ministry in the church specifically. I had decided on a mission field that was accepted by many but not exactly planned by God.
It's so funny that God knew the way I'd end up living while I was still thinking the way I was thinking.
I guess it's true that, with Him, you expect the unexpected.
Like today, I didn't expect what would happen to me at the library. I saw a man sitting there quietly just looking around and I really felt led to go talk to him, and I would have. Really, I would, but I was scared I didn't have the words to say. So I kept quiet. Man, that guy looked so sad, like a lot was on his mind. I'm ashamed that I didn't just go up to him trusting the Holy Spirit to lead me. I wish I would have said something- anything at all! But I didn't. But I guess it's okay because, in a few hours, that will have been yesterday and I'll have moved on to tomorrow... But that poor guy!
I know for a fact he'll be okay, that God will find a way to get ahold of him anyway, and that the loss was my own. I lost today by not being able to partake in God's ministry for the day, and not being a part of His work and, pardon my french, it sucks. I feel awful, but that selfish part of me just doesn't seem to care enough, like she's glad she didnt have to worry about embarrassing herself because she didn't know how to share the gospel "just right."
And Jesus is going to ask -me- what I did unto the least of these, and I'll have to answer. So, hopefully tomorrow I will have a better answer. I didn't really think I'd ever tell this story, seeing as it was just a few minutes at the library, but it's funny how sometimes the stories you never expect to tell are the ones that end up being the most significant and, while I don't know why I felt compelled to tell this story, I know our God is a funny and unexpected God. Maybe after you read this you'll encounter a situation you would have rather not been in, but God is telling you that obedience is better than sacrifice.
I don't know, I don't know...but I did come to conclude from today that the quote "how you spend your days is how you end up spending your life" is very true. What if Jesus swept me up in the middle of my day? What will I have been doing? Preaching the word or running away like a little girl instead of the princess and conqueror he has called me to be? Or will I be catching a couple of extra hours of sleep instead of getting up earlier in the morning to seek after his heart?
Or what about my life as a whole?
Maybe at the end of each day we could all ask ourselves two questions. This way, the days that will add up to equate to our entire lives will have been worth the run. First, we can ask "God, were there parts in my day that would have caught me off gaurd if you would have showed up unexpectedly?"
And
"Did I forget about myself enough to praise you today?"
I don't know.
I just don't know if I like the answer to the first question today, but Im alright because I have new mercy from my father in the morning, and he doesn't condemn me.
But I still lay myself down for kingdom come... Because there's a better version of me, one that I can't really see yet.
Night and remember, God is love perfect enough to strengthen us in our weakness. Mine punched me in the face this afternoon, what's yours?
I just don't know. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment